it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
