Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do vagina's smell?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
