The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My liver just had a heart attack.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
