i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
