If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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