Kiss
Puke
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
