i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
