If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
