fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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