It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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