Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
as a side note pls kill me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
