You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize