I didn't shave. On purpose
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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