I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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