How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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