she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
