His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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