if only i could text you this smell
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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