so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
