I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
