too bad you live with your parents still
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
