How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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