i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
honey bunches of taint.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
