I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
