I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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