His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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