I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
