someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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