it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
