So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
