He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
