It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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