Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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