I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
