i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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