he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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