Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
