Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
worst night to have a conscience
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
