The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
