This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
