Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
