Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
