Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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