Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
