just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
