There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
