what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
