He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
