I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
