How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
