8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
