There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
