Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
